Nora's Hair Salon 2: A Cut Above DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Sorry Sequel Offends at Every Turn

Who decided that every African-American comedy has to revolve either around a black man in drag, or else around a barbershop or beauty salon? This sorry sequel is of the latter variety, and is just the latest in a long line which includes Barbershop 1 and 2, Beauty Shop, Hair Show, Nora's Hair Salon and the upcoming Miss B’s Hair Salon.
These ghetto-based sitcoms share a familiar storyline, a love story unfolding against the backdrop of an ensemble cast of colorful caricatures. The clownish genre has its roots in Amos ‘n’ Andy, a show which debuted on radio in 1928 and eventually made the jump to television as the first series featuring a black cast. The TV series was grounded by the tempestuous romantic relationship of unemployed and gullible Andy and feisty Queen, a Harlem beautician. But the real reason everybody tuned in was to laugh at the program’s motley collection of lazy, loud and crooked black characters.
One of the first things I noticed about the cover of Nora’s Hair Salon 2 is that it’s promoted by an outfit called BlackChristianMovies.com, ostensibly to con folks into believing that the DVD contains clean and wholesome family entertainment. Yet the dialogue is sprinkled with both the b and s-words, and often treats not only blacks but Asians and gays in a decidedly backwards and un-Christian manner.
Given the recent release of the documentary Hollywood Chinese, I had hoped that we’d be past presenting members of this ethnic group speaking pidgin English and mixing their ‘l’s and ‘r’s. Homosexuals fare no better, as we’re treated to the same flamboyant, effeminate stereotype that’s been around for time immemorial.
The plot concerns itself with the tug-of-war between co-owners Lilliana (Tatyan Ali) and Simone (Stacey Dash) over whether to stay in business. The former is a single-mom sorely in need of a nice guy, preferably a doctor (Mekhi Phifer) to fall head over heels for her. Simone is a selfish shrew you just love to hate. Not to worry, it all unfolds as expected.
The question you need to ask yourself is whether you want to watch a bunch of sassy sisters playing the dozens insulting everyone within earshot for an hour and a half.

Poor (½ star)
Rated PG-13 for profanity and sexual humor.
Running time: 81 minutes
Studio: 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Resurrecting the Champ DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: DVD Features Samuel L. Jackson as Hobo in Uplifting Bio-Pic

Hollywood has never been known to let the facts get in the way of an uplifting bio-pic, and this fiasco is no exception. Josh Hartnett stars as Erik Kernan, a struggling sports columnist for the Denver Post who crosses paths with Champ (Samuel L. Jackson), an alcoholic hobo rumored to be Bob Satterfield, a former heavyweight contender way back in the Fifties.
Seeing the story as the scoop which could establish him as a journalist to be reckoned with, Erik bribes his reluctant subject with beer to cooperate for a profile. But only after the paper has already published the piece does it learn that the story is a hoax since the real Bob Satterfield had died in 1977.
Nonetheless, the picture has been packaged as a feelgood flick, expecting you to be tweaked emotionally by the Champ’s nobly inspiring Kernan to mend fences with his estranged son. Unfortunately, the improbable tale unfolds in an utterly unconvincing fashion, and leaves one wondering how a big city paper could fail to check the basic fact of whether the subject of a cover story was dead or alive.
So, it was no surprise to this critic that a little research reveals the movie’s script to bear little resemblance to the real-life events that actually transpired. Turns out that the reporter, J.R. Moehringer, was not fooled by the impostor. Furthermore, instead of ever being an aspiring writer, J.R. was a very-promising Yale grad enjoying a meteoric rise on his way to winning a Pulitzer early in his career.
Pardon me for being offended when a flick revolving around the question of journalistic ethics takes so many liberties with the truth simply to spin a tall tale designed to tug on unsuspecting heartstrings.

Poor (½ star)
Rated PG-13 for violence and brief profanity.
Running time: 112 minutes
Studio: 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
DVD Extras: Cast and crew interviews, and “The Making of” featurette.

The Brothers Solomon DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Marriage-Minded Siblings Forget to Be Funny in Funereal Sitcom

After their mother passed away while they were still very young, John (Will Arnett) and Dean (Will Forte) Solomon were so inconsolable that their father, Ed (Lee Majors) was willing to do anything to see his sons happy again. Because they wanted to live near Santa Claus, he agreed to move to the North Pole.
There, the doting dad ended up home-schooling the boys until each had earned a Ph.D. But being book smart is one thing, while being street smart is quite another. And having been raised in a remote area of the Arctic meant that neither John nor Dean ever developed much in the way of common sense or social graces.
Consequently, the anti-social siblings had no luck with girls, which wasn’t a big deal until their dad shared his dying wish with his doctor (Charles Chun) just before slipping into a coma. Upon learning that his last request was for a grandchild, the romantically-challenged dorks decide to focus on fulfilling their dad’s desire before he expires.
Desperate to mate, John and Dean proceed to make fools of themselves as they approach strangers and make impulsive overtures to mate immediately. This is the straightforward premise of The Brothers Solomon, a readily-forgettable romantic comedy which, unfortunately, fails entirely to be funny along the way.
The problems with the production are plentiful, starting with the fact that the protagonists fail to behave in a nerdy fashion. This is compounded by a farcical script which never makes logical sense. So what’s left? Slapstick abounds, such as the sight of a morbidly obese woman (Suzanne Wright) getting hit by a bus right after exhibiting elation at the prospect of becoming a mother. Hah-hah.
Life’s too short for such juiceless, joyless junk.

Poor (0.5 stars)
Rated R for sexuality and profanity.
Running time: 93 minutes
Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
DVD Extras: Deleted scenes, audio commentary with co-stars Will Arnett and Will Forte, and two featurettes.

The Heartbreak Kid DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Farrelly Brothers’ Raunchy Remake Released on DVD

40 year-old Eddie Cantrow (Ben Stiller) is having second thoughts about remaining a bachelor after attending the wedding of his ex-girlfriend (Ali Hillis). Most of his buddies have already tied the knot, and even his henpecked best friend, Mac (Rob Corddry), appears to be happily married.
Therefore, when he comes to the rescue of a gorgeous damsel in distress (Malin Akerman) being robbed on Valentine’s Day, he takes it as a sign that the leggy blonde might be Ms. Right. After a whirlwind romance, the Good Samaritan proposes, figuring, how bad could life with her be? Only after they set out on their honeymoon, does he begin to uncover reasons to question the wisdom of his impulsive decision.
As the two become better acquainted, a less endearing side of his bride begins to emerge, from her sordid past to her deviated septum to her foul mouth to her insatiable appetite for rough sex to her $26,000 in cocaine debt. By the time the newlyweds arrive at their oceanfront resort in Mexico, the grouchy groom is already fed up.
So, soon after checking in, he ventures down to the hotel’s bar alone where he proceeds to put the moves on Miranda (Michelle Monaghan), an attractive young woman from Mississippi who’s there with relatives for an annual family getaway. Not only does the creep fail to mention that he’s on his honeymoon, but he doesn’t even let on that he’s married.
This recipe for disaster is the point of departure of The Heartbreak Kid, a sorry remake of the 1972 farce starring Charles Grodin and Cybill Shepherd. Like a typical TV sitcom, the plot turns on the continuing concealment of a big lie which would easily resolve the matter if admitted.
Besides the morally-objectionable storyline, the Farrellys are up to their usual tricks. This means they fill the screen with gratuitous nudity, gross-out bodily function humor, graphically-depicted soft porn and meanspirited potshots at assorted ethnic groups.
An unwatchable mess like this is exactly what you ought to expect from anybody with the unmitigated gall to overhaul Neil Simon.

Poor (.5 star)
Rated R for profanity, female frontal nudity, crude humor and graphic sexuality.
Running time: 118 minutes
Studio: Paramount Home Entertainment
DVD Extras: Six deleted scenes, audio commentary by the Farrelly Brothers, four featurettes, bloopers, gag reel, plus Peter Farrelly’s “Greatest Practical Joke Ever.”

The Heartbreak Kid

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Farrelly Brothers Responsible for Raunchy Remake of 1972 Comedy Classic

40 year-old Eddie Cantrow (Ben Stiller) is having second thoughts about remaining a bachelor after attending the wedding of an ex-girlfriend, Jodi (Ali Hillis). For most of his buddies have by now tied the knot, and even his best friend, Mac (Rob Corddry), appears to be happily married, despite being henpecked.
Therefore, Eddie decides to heed his dad’s (Jerry Stiller) fatherly advice to start looking for love before it’s too late and he loses his last chance at happiness and fulfillment. So, it’s no surprise that when he comes to the rescue of a damsel in distress (Malin Akerman) being robbed right on the street on Valentine’s Day, he takes it as a sign that the leggy blonde might be Ms. Right.
In fact, after a whirlwind romance of just six weeks, the Good Samaritan proposes to Lila, since otherwise she’s about to be transferred overseas by her job as an environmental researcher. Although he didn’t really know her yet, he figured she’s gorgeous, so how bad could life with her be?
Only after they set out on their honeymoon, does Eddie begin to uncover reasons to question the wisdom of his impulsive decision. For as the two become better acquainted, a less endearing side of his bride begins to emerge, from her sordid past to her deviated septum to her foul mouth to her insatiable appetite for rough sex to her $26,000 in cocaine debt. By the time the newlyweds arrive at their oceanfront resort in Mexico, the grouch groom is already fed up.
This recipe for disaster is the point of departure of The Heartbreak Kid, a sorry remake of the 1972 dark comedy starring Charles Grodin and Cybill Shepherd. The original was directed by Elaine May and written by the incomparable Neil Simon, but that script was scrapped by the Farrelly Brothers in favor of a raunchy rewrite reminiscent of their previous collaboration with Ben Stiller, There’s Something about Mary.
Regrettably, this picture pales in comparison to the relatively-amusing Mary, sharing only its shock value, while failing to serve up any side-splitting humor. Granted, by design, Eddie is a despicable character, however, the distasteful scenario which he ‘s embroiled in fails to furnish the audience a reason to find anything funny about his shameful shenanigans.
Soon after checking in, Eddie ventures down to the hotel’s bar alone where he proceeds to put the moves on Miranda (Michelle Monaghan), an attractive young woman from Mississippi who’s there with relatives for an annual family getaway. Not only does the creep fail to mention that he’s on his honeymoon, but he doesn’t even let on that he’s married.
Like a typical TV sitcom, the plot turns on the continuing concealment of a lie which would easily resolve the matter if revealed. But no, evil Eddie rudely keeps up the ruse in order to use Miranda and manipulate her feelings, while cheating on his wife.
Besides the morally-objectionable storyline, the Farrellys are up to their usual tricks. This means they fill the screen with gratuitous nudity, gross-out bodily function humor, graphically-depicted soft porn and meanspirited potshots at assorted ethnic groups.
An unwatchable mess like this is exactly what you ought to expect from anybody with the unmitigated gall to overhaul Neil Simon.

Poor (.5 star)
Rated R for profanity, female frontal nudity, crude humor and graphic sexuality.
Running time: 118 minutes
Studio: Paramount Pictures

The Brothers Solomon

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Siblings Seek to Satisfy Dying Father’s Last Wish in Readily-Forgettable Romantic Comedy

After their mother passed away while they were still very young, John (Will Arnett) and Dean (Will Forte) Solomon were so inconsolable that their father, Ed (Lee Majors) was willing to do anything to see his sons happy again. Because they wanted to live near Santa Claus, he agreed to move to the North Pole.
There, the doting dad ended up home-schooling the boys until each had earned a Ph.D. But being book smart is one thing, while being street smart is quite another. And having been raised in a remote area of the Arctic meant that neither John nor Dean ever developed much in the way of common sense or social graces.
Consequently, the anti-social siblings had no luck with girls, which wasn’t a big deal until their dad shared his dying wish with his doctor (Charles Chun) just before slipping into a coma. Upon learning that his last request was for a grandchild, the romantically-challenged dorks decide to focus on fulfilling their dad’s desire before he expires.
Desperate to mate, John and Dean proceed to make fools of themselves as they approach strangers and make impulsive overtures to mate immediately. This is the straightforward premise of The Brothers Solomon, a readily-forgettable romantic comedy which, unfortunately, fails entirely to be funny along the way.
The problems with the production are plentiful, starting with the fact that the lead actors fail to behave in a nerdy fashion. This is compounded by a farcical script which never makes logical sense. So what’s left? Slapstick abounds, such as the sight of a morbidly obese woman (Suzanne Wright) getting hit by a bus right after exhibiting elation at the prospect of becoming a mother. Hah-hah.
The plot thickens after Janine (Kristen Wiig) agrees to serve as a surrogate mom for the brothers, only to have second thoughts after she’s already being artificially impregnated. This situation is further complicated when news of the arrangement reaches the ears of her foul-mouthed boyfriend, James (Chi McBride), a plus-sized janitor with a bad attitude.
[Spoiler to follow]
The plot relies on a big twist which arrives when the newborn turns out to be half black, a surprise which John, Dean, and their conveniently coming out of the coma father all take in stride, given that, as a result of the ruse, they still don’t have an heir. Yet, they make peace with the predicament, and even think it’s cute when the infant utters his first word, “F*ck!” thus leaving no doubt that James must be the father.
A bomb for bigoted ignoramuses inclined to believe the worst about black babies from birth, as if certain bad behavior is inherited.

Poor (½ star)
Rated R for sexuality and profanity.
Running time: 91 minutes
Studio: Screen Gems

Resurrecting the Champ

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Reporter Befriends Hobo in Unconvincing Bio-Pic

Hollywood has never been known to let the facts get in the way of an uplifting, overcoming-the-odds bio-pic, and Resurrecting the Champ is no exception. Based on the Los Angeles Times article of the same name written by J.R. Moehringer in 1997, the film revolves around an aspiring journalist who stakes his teetering career on a feature about a homeless ex-boxer while simultaneously learning a valuable lesson about father-son relationships in the process.
The picture stars Josh Hartnett as Erik Kernan, a sports columnist for the Denver Post who has a hard time avoiding invidious comparisons with his late father, a fondly-remembered radio personality from the Mile High City. Not only is he getting grief from his boss (Alan Alda) who complains that his submissions’ “lack personality,” but his wife, Joyce (Kathryn Morris), the paper’s star reporter, has just asked him for a divorce.
Though disturbed by this state of affairs, Erik is motivated by a fear of being separated from his six year-old son, Teddy (Dakota Goyo), to do whatever it takes to establish himself in the profession. An unlikely opportunity at redemption arrives the day he crosses paths with Champ (Samuel L. Jackson), an alcoholic hobo rumored to be Bob Satterfield, a former heavyweight contender whose heyday was way back in the Fifties.
Seeing the story as the scoop which could establish him as a writer to be reckoned with, Erik pleads with his reluctant subject to cooperate, explaining that “This article is my title fight.” Bribed with beer and ringside seats to a local boxing bout, Champ miraculously transforms into a spiritual soul-baring sage sharing life lessons about marriage, child-raising and fulfillment, even though he’s apparently been unable to follow his own advice or do anything about his own dire straits.
Tinseltown has enjoyed a long love affair with this sort of down-and-out black character blessed with an endearing selflessness before, such as in The Green Mile and The Legend of Bagger Vance. However, here, we have a slight variation on that familiar theme, and it is that deviation which fatally dooms the Resurrecting the Champ.
[Spoiler to follow, so stop reading this review now, if you plan to see the movie.]
For, only after Erik publishes his piece does he learn that he had been hoodwinked because the real Bob Satterfield had died in 1977. Nonetheless, the picture has been packaged as a feelgood flick, as the audience is expected to be tweaked emotionally by the notion that Champ has still somehow provided a noble service by inspiring Kernan to focus on mending fences with his estranged son.
However, the preposterous hoax is portrayed in an utterly unconvincing fashion, and leaves one wondering how a big city paper could fail to fact check whether the subject of a cover story was dead or alive? For this reason, it is not surprising to learn that the movie script bears little resemblance to what actually transpired.
In real life, author J.R. Moehringer was not duped and disgraced by any impostor, but quite the opposite. His Resurrecting the Champ article was a Pulitzer Prize finalist. Furthermore, he had no famous father’s shadow to worry about, since his dad had abandoned the family when he was just seven months-old.
Plus, instead of ever being a struggling writer, Moehringer was a very-promising boy-most-likely who, after graduating from Yale, enjoyed a meteoric rise and won a Pulitzer early in his career. Even the touching father-son plot point was purely a dreamed-up fabrication, as the unmarried author apparently has no offspring.
Pardon me for being offended when a flick revolving around the question of journalistic ethics takes so many liberties with the truth simply to spin a tall tale designed to tug on unsuspecting heartstrings. If this were a championship bout, the ref would have stopped it in the first round.

Poor (½ star)
Rated PG-13 for violence and brief profanity.
Running time: 113 minutes
Studio: Yari Film Group