What Happens in Vegas…

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Kutcher and Diaz Match Wits in Battle-of-the-Sexes Comedy

New Yorker Joy McNally (Cameron Diaz) has just been unceremoniously dumped by her fiancé at a surprise birthday party she threw for him. Meanwhile, somewhere across town, slacker Jack Fuller (Ashton Kutcher) is being fired from the family business by his bitterly disappointed father (Treat Williams).
Both of these sad sacks venture to Vegas to lick their wounds, Joy accompanied by her best friend, Tipper (Lake Bell), Jack by his buddy, Hater (Rob Coddry). Fate conspires to have the four cross paths when their hotel accidentally assigns them to the same room.
And although misogynistic Hater and man-hating Tipper instantly dislike each other, Joy and Jack hit it off so well that they impulsively decide to get married after a night of imbibing and debauchery. However, by the time their hangovers wear off the next morning, they realize they have nothing in common. So, saner heads prevail and the newlyweds agree to get a quickie divorce.
But as they are about to go their separate ways, Jack deposits one of his bride’s quarters in a slot machine, and wouldn’t you know he hits a $3,000,000 jackpot. Because they can’t agree on how to divvy up the cash amicably, the greedy couple ends up in divorce court where the judge (Dennis Miller) sentences them to live together for six months before he’ll render a decision.
Joy reluctantly moves into Jack’s apartment and the two proceed to drive each other crazy in a standoff with nothing new to offer to anyone already familiar with The Break-Up, The War of the Roses and the rest of the battle-of-the-sexes genre. He gets under her skin with such alpha-male antics as urinating in the sink, leaving the toilet sink up and taking popcorn from a bowl after scratching his genitals.
She’s no angel either, and gets advice on how to torture her hubby from the shrewish Tipper. Hater serves the same function for Jack, with Dr. Twitchell (Queen Latifah) being left to referee intermittently during the troubled couple’s court-appointed marriage counseling sessions.
The colorful second bananas’ bawdy badinage turns out to be a lot funnier than that of the co-stars who have little more to offer than their looks and sexual chemistry going for them. A recycled romantic comedy best left in Vegas.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated PG-13 for sexuality, profanity, crude humor and a drug reference
Running time: 99 minutes
Studio: 20th Century Fox

Mister Lonely

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Michael Jackson Impersonator Takes Refuge in the Company of Other Wannabes

A Michael Jackson impersonator (Diego Luna) has been eking out a living in Paris by dancing in parks, on the streets and any place his agent (Leos Carax) can book him. However, other than perfecting a few of the Prince of Pop’s trademark moves and donning a felt fedora and one glove, he doesn’t really look anything like him. Consequently, the best gigs he can get are jobs like his current one, performing for the elderly at a senior citizen center.
As fate would have it, also entertaining there that day was a hauntingly-beautiful Marilyn Monroe look-a-like (Samantha Morton). Sensing that Michael is a lost and lonely soul, she invites him to accompany her home to a castle tucked away in the Scottish Highlands where she lives with a host of other celebrity wannabes, including her mustachioed husband, Charlie Chaplin (Dennis Lavant), and their mop-topped, six year-old daughter, Shirley Temple (Esme Creed-Miles).
Michael takes her up on the generous offer, as much because he was instantly smitten, as for the company of like-minded oddballs. Upon their arrival at the seaside estate, Marilyn matter-of-factly announces, “I found a Michael,” whereupon the stranger finds himself welcomed into a community of losers pretending to be everyone from Madonna (Melita Morgan) to Sammy Davis, Jr. (Jason Pennycooke) to James Dean (Joseph Morgan) to Abraham Lincoln (Richard Strange) to Buckwheat (Michael-Joel Stuart) to the Pope (James Fox) to Little Red Riding Hood (Rachel Korine) to the Queen of England (Anita Pallenberg) to The Three Stooges, Moe (Daniel Rovai), Larry (Mal Whiteley) and Curly (Nigel Cooper).
The grand plan of this motley crew is to attract a big crowd of the curious to the vaudeville show they plan to put on, ala the Little Rascals. Meanwhile, a subplot revolves around the simmering sexual tensions which arise between Michael and Marilyn after she informs her hubby that he reminds her more of Hitler than Chaplin.
Unfortunately, writer/director Harmony Korine runs out of ideas of what else to do with his assemblage of familiar faces. Instead of a sensible storyline, he settles for visually-bracing cinematography, courtesy of a collage of wide-angled mob scenes along with equally- arresting land, air and seascapes. At the 11th hour, Korine pull a rabbit out of his hat via a development so shocking it doesn’t quite fit with the picture’s previously relatively light-hearted tone.
And neither cameos by magician David Blaine and director Werner Herzog nor the haunting strains of Bobby Vinton on the title track prove to be enough to make the meaningless meanderings of these famous-faced misfits worthwhile. For, once the novelty of all the celebrity impersonations wears off, the film never gives you much of a reason to care about the predicaments of its cardboard characters.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Unrated
Running time: 113 minutes
Studio: IFC Films

Nina's Heavenly Delights DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: DVD Features Latent Lesbians in Formulaic Female Empowerment Flick

When Prodigal Daughter Nina (Shelley Conn) returns to Glasgow for the first time in years to attend her father’s (Raad Rawi) funeral, it’s apparent that the young woman has something to hide. But between mourning and making the arrangements, her family’s too preoccupied to take any hints about her sexual preference.
Plus, they’re trying to save the jewel in their East Indian-Scottish clan’s crown, a famous curry house called “The New Taj.” Seems that the late patriarch had a gambling habit which left half the restaurant in the hands of Lisa (Laura Fraser), the attractive blonde now dating Kary (Atta Yaqub), Nina’s brother.
When the owner (Art Malik) of a rival eatery expresses an interest in buying the Taj, most of the Shahs are prepared to sell. But not Nina, whose jilted former fiancé (Raji James) is the man’s son. What nobody suspects is that she’s gay and would prefer to lock lips with Lisa than to hand the place over to her ex.
So, Nina concocts the perfect plan to save the Taj, namely, to enter and win the annual “Best of the West” cook-off competition. Fortunately, Lisa agrees, and the two new business partners proceed to flirt while whipping up recipes for the big showdown. Don’t be misled by Nina's Heavenly Delights’ promising premise, for as good as it might sound, the film fails to measure up to its potential.
Between its plodding pace and predictable plot developments, the production repeatedly fritters away opportunities to address meaningfully any of the assorted themes it dances around, ranging from homosexuality to family to tolerance to assimilation to male chauvinism to sexual preference. You know a cross-cultural, gender-bending dramedy has issues, when its most memorable moment is a blasphemous, bouncy Bollywood musical finale featuring a female impersonator.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated PG-13 for sexuality.
Running time: 94 minutes
Studio: Genius Products
DVD Extras: Trailer.

Anamorph

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Detectives Track Copycat Serial Killer in Grisly Crime Caper

From the opening scene, this snuff flick hits you over the head with the idea that NYPD Detective Stan Aubray (Willem Dafoe) is damaged goods. He’s a moody loner who looks like he has something to hide, but that doesn’t prevent the department from bringing him out of mothballs to team with an ambitious, young greenhorn (Scott Speedman) when a maniacal serial killer starts terrorizing the city.
For only five years before, Stan had successfully tracked down and supposedly killed another sicko with a suspiciously similar modus operandi. Now corpses mutilated beyond recognition are turning up hacked apart and left hanging from rafters in odd configurations, such as with a decapitated head stuffed inside a torso spilling its guts.
Needless to say, this makes Anamorph a movie for those with a strong stomach. Unfortunately, even if you’re willing to endure the intermittent visual violations, the plot isn’t all that satisfying for amateur sleuths. Consider the moment when the detectives are looking for evidence at a fresh crime scene, and decide that the name “Gerri Harden” left besides the body is a clue, a message from the murderer in the form of an anagram of “Red Herring.” Trouble is the letters don’t match up. Where’s the “A”?
Though director Henry Miller does a decent job of creating and maintaining an ominous air, the picture really has far more to offer in the way of shock than suspense. While focusing on indulging the bloodlust of the splatter crowd, the services of a first-rate cast are frittered away, a motley ensemble which includes Clea Duvall, Peter Stormare, Michael Buscemi (Steve’s brother), Tandy Cronyn (daughter of Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn), Debbie “Blondie” Harry and ex-pro wrestler Mick “Mankind” Foley.
Though the movie takes its title, Anamorph, from an asexual stage of reproduction in the life of a fungus, don’t expect to find any fungi, I mean fun guys in this lame excuse for graphic displays of vivisection.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated R for violence, profanity and grisly images.
Running time: 103 minutes
Studio: IFC Films

The Kite Runner DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Adaptation of Afghani Best Seller Arrives on DVD

Written by Khaled Hosseini in 2003, The Kite Runner is an endearing account of the childhood friendship of two young Afghani boys which unfolds against the backdrop of political turmoil, ranging from the fall of the monarchy to the war with the U.S.S.R. to the rise of the Taliban. But the book has been simplistically adapted here into a safely sanitized tale of camaraderie and betrayal leading to overwhelming regret and, ultimately, a chance at redemption.
Told as a series of flashbacks set mostly in Kabul, the story opens in post-millennial San Francisco, which is where we meet middle-aged Amir (Khalid Abdalla) about to return to his native Afghanistan. The movie then immediately shifts to 1978 where we find him flying kites with his pal Hassan (Ahmad Khan Mahmidzada), the son of his father’s faithful manservant.
Initially, the inseparable playmates generally enjoy each other’s company, and forge a powerful bond, despite the class difference. However, this all changes forever the day that Hassan is beaten and raped by a gang of bullies because a fear-gripped Amir who failed to come to his buddy’s assistance.
Before Amir matures enough to explain his inappropriate response, his family flees to the U.S. to escape the impending Soviet invasion. Half a world away, his guilt gradually grew over the next 20 years, as he came to be haunted by his past betrayal and to yearn for a chance to express his remorse.
Unfortunately, the picture fails to engage the audience on a visceral level, in spite of its earnest endeavor to tug on one’s heartstrings. And by the time the closing curtain comes down, the supposedly touching resolution comes off as an anticlimactic afterthought, a surprising rabbit out of the hat reveal notwithstanding.
The book was better. What else is new?

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated PG-13 for violence, brief profanity, child rape and mature themes.
In Dari, Pashtu, Urdu, Russian and English with subtitles.
Running time: 127 minutes
Studio:Dreamworks Home Entertainment
DVD Extras: Commentary by the director and the scriptwriters, theatrical trailer, plus “Words” and “Images” featurettes.

In the Valley of Elah DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: DVD Features Tommy Lee Jones’ Oscar-Nominated Performance

When SPC Mike Deerfield (Jonathan Tucker) goes AWOL soon after returning from a tour of duty in Iraq, his father, (Tommy Lee Jones), a retired military man, decides to join the search. Bidding adieu to his anguished wife (Susan Sarandon), Hank drives from Tennessee to New Mexico in a panic, fearful because their only other child already perished in a helicopter crash while serving in the 82nd Airborne.
Upon his arrival at the base, he’s disappointed to discover that the officer in charge of missing persons (Jason Patric) is an inept pencil-pusher with little street savvy. Looking for clues on his own, Hank finds himself frequently frustrated by the less than cooperative members of Mike’s unit.
Ultimately, his rescue mission turns into a recovery effort when a charred body is found chopped to pieces on an empty lot. Although the military brass assumes jurisdiction and quickly dub Mike’s murder drug-related in a rush to judgment, former MP Hank is savvy enough to smell a bureaucratic cover-up.
So, he enlists the help of the local police and finds a sympathetic ear in Detective Emily Sanders (Charlize Theron). The two team-up to fill in the pieces of the grisly puzzle, and that determined effort is meticulously chronicled in this whodunit crafted as a subtle indictment of the American invasion of Iraq.
For although our intrepid protagonists retrace Mike’s steps to strip clubs for a little gratuitous nudity and other staples associated with the genre, gradual revelations about Abu Ghraib-level abuses by the suspected soldiers lay blame overseas, since ensuing post-traumatic stress disorder seems to have triggered the attack. Other than its annoying profusion of red herrings, this tortoise-paced picture is noteworthy only for squandering the services of Susan Sarandon, Charlize Theron and Tommy Lee Jones, his Oscar nomination notwithstanding.
Postwar is hell!

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated R for sexuality, nudity, profanity, violence and disturbing content.
Running time: 121 minutes
Studio: Warner Home Video
DVD Extras: A deleted scene and two featurettes.

American Gangster DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Harlem Heroin Kingpin Bio-Pic Starring Denzel Due on DVD

At the height of his reign as New York’s heroin kingpin, Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) was raking in over a million dollars a day. This was no mean feat for a former sharecropper who had arrived from rural North Carolina penniless and with no formal education.
He built his drug empire as a family-run business, restricting membership in the gang to relatives and friends from his hometown. However, what really made his operation so successful was the fact that he figured out a way to cut out the middleman.
With the help of soldiers stationed overseas, he smuggled uncut drugs into the country in the caskets of deceased Vietnam vets. Before he and his confederates were finally caught and carted off to prison, Lucas would amass a personal fortune in the hundreds of millions.
While some might be tempted to admire Frank, never forget that this was a cold-blooded killer who never gave a second thought about exploiting the human condition or assassinating any cop or competitor who stood in his way.
Yet, since nothing is more meta-typically American than a graphic gangster saga, it comes as no surprise that the story would find its way to the big screen.
Co-starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe, this elaborate epoch of Shakespearean proportions explores an array of universal themes, ranging from loyalty and betrayal, to love and hate, to ambition and corruption, to sin and redemption. Regrettably, despite these classical pretensions and a stellar cast, the picture still somehow adds up to less than the sum of its parts.
For the film feels like an R-rated rap video, laced with graphic displays of gratuitous violence and topless women. Overall, an irresistibly seductive celebration of a monster likely to deliver the wrong message to many an impressionable young mind.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated R for female frontal nudity, sexuality, profanity, ethnic slurs, gratuitous violence and pervasive drug content
Running time: 158 minutes
Studio: Universal Studios Home Entertainment
2-Disc DVD Extras: 18 minutes of never-before-seen footage, an alternate ending, deleted scenes, alternate opening, three “Behind-the-Scenes” segments, “The Making of” and five other featurettes.

Three Can Play That Game DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Vivica Can’t Carry Sequel Alone

Two Can Play That Game was a side-splitting battle of the sexes sitcom narrated by Vivica A. Fox and featuring a talented ensemble comprised of Gabrielle Union, Mo’Nique, Morris Chestnut, Anthony Anderson, singer Bobby Brown, Tamala Jones, Wendy Raquel Robinson and David Krumholtz. Unfortunately, the only star reprising a role in the sequel is Vivica as Shante’ Smith, but even her character has now been overhauled into a relationship guru with a best seller entitled “How to Get Your Man to Behave.”
The biggest names among the cast newcomers are Kellita Smith, Jazmin Lewis, Terri J. Vaughn and NFL cornerback Lawyer Milloy, not exactly the caliber of the folks they’ve been asked to replace. The picture was directed by Mody Mod, though the script was again written by Mark Brown, the Brit from Birmingham, England responsible for a string of blaxploitations flicks including How to Be a Player, Barbershop 1 & 2, The Seat Filler and The Salon.
Rated R more for profanity than sexuality, the expletive-laced Three Can Play That Game is set in Atlanta where we meet Byron (Jason Winston George), a buppie who has just won “The Trainee,” a reality-TV series similar to Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice.”
He soon lands in trouble, however, when his devoted girlfriend, Tiffany (Lewis), catches him in a compromising position with his sexually-insistent and well-preserved boss, Carla (Smith). So, Tiffany cries on the shoulder of Linda (Vaughn) who claims to have her boyfriend, Gizzard (Tony Rock) well trained. And while the girls turn to Shante’s book for advice about how to keep their men in line, the guys bond and follow a guide of their own called “The Game: The Ultimate Guide to Pimping, Pandering and Philandering.”
Sassy sisters scheme against jive brothers, only sans any sizzle or flava’.
Sorry, Vivica, one can’t play this game.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated R for profanity and sexuality.
Running time: 91 minutes
Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
DVD Extras: Deleted scenes.

Mr. Woodcock DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Gym Teacher and Ex-Student Square-Off in Over-the-Top Insult Comedy

As a pudgy seventh grader, John Farley (Seann William Scott) was embarrassed by his overbearing phys-ed teacher (Billy Bob Thornton) who made him strip in front of the class for forgetting to wear his sweat suit. After being driven by nightmares of the humiliating incident to lose all the excess fat, John grew up to write a best-selling book to inspire others to achieve their dreams.
13 years later, Farley, now a famous self-help guru, has been lured back to his hometown to receive the key to the city. But upon his arrival, he’s shocked to find his widowed mother (Susan Sarandon) blissfully in love and engaged to none other than the unrepentant Mr. Woodcock. Since the sadistic drill sergeant hasn’t mellowed with age, John decides to make it his business to break them up before the creep can become his stepfather.
This scenario sets up the no-holds-barred battle royal which ensues for the duration of Mr. Woodcock, a mean-spirited insult comedy laced with locker room humor. Though the picture has a few funny moments, more of its crude bits miss than hit the mark. Who wants to see Billie Bob Thornton abuse kids for being overweight, for having asthma, or for not being athletically inclined, even if an 11th hour revelation supposedly makes everything okay in the end?
And Susan Sarandon must be very hard-up for decent roles, judging by her one-note performance as Woodcock’s dimwitted fiancée. Sadly, the five-time Oscar-nominee has been reduced to playing decidedly underwhelming characters recently, in films like Elizabethtown, Alfie and In the Valley of Elah.
By contrast, it is apparent that the less-discriminating Billy Bob Thornton has embraced the idea of appealing to the lowest possible common denominator. How else can you explain his presence in another bad taste bottom-feeder which might have been better titled Bad Gym Teacher, ala Bad Santa?

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated PG-13 for crude humor, sexual content, profanity, mature themes and a drug reference.
Running time: 88 minutes
Studio: New Line Home Entertainment
DVD Extras: Deleted scenes, “The Making of” documentary, a theatrical trailer and a featurette entitled “Trauma Tales.”

The Kite Runner

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Afghani Coming-of-Age Best Seller Adapted as Sentimental Buddy Flick

Published by Khaled Hosseini in 2003, The Kite Runner is an endearing account of the childhood friendship of two young Afghani boys which unfolds against the backdrop of their country’s political turmoil, ranging from the fall of the monarchy to the war with the U.S.S.R. to the rise of the Taliban. Brought to the big screen by German director Marc Foster (Monster’s Ball), the book has been adapted as a relatively-simplistic, safely sanitized tale of camaraderie and betrayal leading to overwhelming regret and, ultimately, a chance at redemption.
This flashback flick is mostly set in Kabul, but opens in post-millennial San Francisco, which is where we meet Amir (played as an adult by Khalid Abdalla), a recently-published author, about to return to his native Afghanistan. The movie then immediately shifts to 1978 to an adolescent Amir (Zekeria Abrahimi) flying kites with Hassan (Ahmad Khan Mahmidzada), the son of his father’s live-in servant.
Initially, the carefree children are depicted as inseparable playmates. They generally enjoy each other’s company and forge a powerful bond, despite their class differences. However, this all changes forever the day that Hassan is beaten and raped by a gang of older bullies.
For, the traumatic incident was secretly witnessed by a fear-gripped Amir who failed to come to his buddy’s assistance or to run for help. That event permanently alters the boys’ relationship, and before Amir is mature enough to explain his inappropriate response or to understand his subsequent inappropriate behavior, he is whisked off by his father to the United States to escape the impending Soviet invasion.
Half a world away, the lad at first focused on assimilating in America without wondering much about the welfare of his old pal. But as his guilt gradually grew over the next 20 years, he came to be haunted by his past betrayal and to yearn for a chance to express his remorse.
That, in a nutshell is the arc of The Kite Runner, a picture which, unfortunately, fails to engage the audience on a visceral level, in spite of its earnest endeavor to tug on one’s heartstrings. Other than the colorful capture of the faux Afghani settings (actually shot in China), there’s not much to get excited about here.
The screenplay emotionally-eviscerates before fairly faithfully following the source material’s essential plot points. By the time the closing curtain comes down, the supposedly touching resolution comes off only as an anticlimactic afterthought, rather than as the moving moment anticipated, a surprising rabbit out of the hat reveal notwithstanding.
Read the novel. Or better yet, go fly a kite!

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated PG-13 for violence, brief profanity, child rape and mature themes.
In Dari, Pashtu, Urdu, Russian and English with subtitles.
Running time: 128 minutes
Studio: Paramount Vantage

Nina's Heavenly Delights

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Latent Lesbians Bend It Like Emeril in Formulaic Female Empowerment Flick

When Prodigal Daughter Nina Shah (Shelley Conn) returns to Glasgow for the first time in three years to attend her estranged father’s (Raad Rawi) funeral, it’s apparent that the Westernized young woman has something to hide. But between their mourning and handling the arrangements, her mother (Veena Sood) and siblings are too preoccupied to take any hints from the fact that she’s hanging out with a flamboyant drag queen (Ronny Jhutti).
Plus, they’re trying to save the jewel in their East Indian-Scottish clan’s crown, a famous curry house called “The New Taj.” Seems that the late family patriarch had a gambling problem which left half the restaurant in the hands of Lisa (Laura Fraser), the attractive blonde now dating Kary (Atta Yaqub), Nina’s brother.
When the owner (Art Malik) of a rival eatery expresses an interest in buying the Taj, most of the Shahs are prepared to sell. But not Nina, whose jilted former fiancé (Raji James) is the man’s son and head chef. What nobody suspects is that she’s really a lesbian and would rather lock lips and loins with Lisa than hand the place over to her ex.
So, Nina concocts the perfect plan to save the Taj, namely, to enter and win the annual “Best of the West” cook-off competition. Fortunately, Lisa agrees, and the two new business partners proceed to flirt coyly with each other while whipping up recipes for the big showdown. Don’t be misled by the intriguing premise of Nina's Heavenly Delights, for as promising as it might sound, the movie, unfortunately, is too artlessly executed to measure up to its considerable potential.
Between its plodding pace and predictable plot developments, the production repeatedly fritters away opportunities to address meaningfully any of the assorted themes it dances around, ranging from homosexuality to family to tolerance to assimilation to male chauvinism to sexual preference. You know a cross-cultural, gender-bending dramedy has issues, when its most memorable moment is a blasphemous, bouncy Bollywood musical finale featuring a female impersonator.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated PG-13 for sexuality.
Running time: 95 minutes
Studio: Regent Releasing

American Gangster

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe Square-Off in Harlem Heroin-Trade Saga

At the height of his reign as New York’s heroin kingpin during the Vietnam War, Frank Lucas was raking in over a million dollars a day on the streets of the City. This was no mean feat for a former sharecropper who had arrived from rural North Carolina penniless and with no formal education.
But on the way to building his own drug empire, he had, for twenty years, learned the ropes from Harlem’s most notorious mobster, the legendary Bumpy Johnson. And it wasn’t long after his mentor passed away in his arms, that the protégé summoned his five younger brothers North to build an illicit family-run operation.
Known as the Country Boys, Frank restricted membership in his ruthless gang to relatives and friends from his hometown, hiring only folks he felt he could trust and thus control. However, what really made his heroin ring so successful was the fact that he figured out a way to cut out the middleman entirely by buying his dope directly from poppy growers in Southeast Asia.
With the help of soldiers stationed both overseas and on domestic military bases, he smuggled uncut drugs into the country in the caskets of deceased Vietnam vets. As a consequence, Frank’s “Blue Magic” brand of smack was twice as pure as any rival’s and sold for half the price.
Before he and his confederates were finally caught and carted off to prison, Lucas would amass a personal fortune in the hundreds of millions. While some might admire a man from such humble roots for having developed the savvy to create an operation with a corporate-like structure, make no mistake, this was a cold-blooded killer who never gave a second thought about exploiting the human condition or assassinating any cop or competitor who stood in his way.
Regardless, since nothing is more meta-typically American than a graphic gangster saga, it comes as no surprise that the story of Frank Lucas’ rise and fall would find its way to celluloid. Directed by Ridley Scott, the movie stars Denzel Washington in the titular role and matching wits with Russell Crowe as Richie Roberts, the honest cop-turned-prosecutor who ultimately brought Frank to justice.
An elaborate epoch of Shakespearean proportions, American Gangster unfolds like a blackface version of The Godfather, exploring an array of universal themes along the way, ranging from loyalty and betrayal, to love and hate, to ambition and corruption, to sin and redemption. Regrettably, despite these classical pretensions, its $100 million budget and a stellar cast (including Cuba Gooding, Jr., Chiwetel Ejiofor, Ruby Dee, Josh Brolin, Carla Gugino, Roger Guenveur Smith, Joe Morton, and rappers T.I., Common and RZA), the picture still somehow adds up to less than the sum of its parts and is thus likely to leave a vaguely sour taste in the mouth of the more discerning cinemagoer.
For more than anything, the film feels like an overextended gangsta rap video, given its periodic graphic displays of gratuitous violence and its repeated resort to topless women as props carefully-positioned for purposes of titillation. In general, its female characters are simplistically-drawn, one-dimensional archetypes, whether mothers, Madonnas, whores or lawyers.
They’re given short shrift in favor of a macho motif which constantly contrasts Frank and Richie’s flawed souls to highlight a telling irony. Yes, Frank may be a creep who ruined countless lives, but at least he’s a devoted family man and a good provider. On the other hand, Richie may be an unbribable police officer, but just look at his relatively-pathetic existence marked by a messy divorce, shallow relationships and ostracism from colleagues. Who would want to be him?
Why Ridley Scott would have Frank Lucas’ bio-pic revolve around a contrived juxtaposition equating good with evil is beyond me, especially when the New York Magazine article upon which American Gangster is based makes no mention of Richie Roberts. An irresistibly seductive celebration of a monster which will undoubtedly deliver the wrong message to many an impressionable young mind.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated R for female frontal nudity, sexuality, profanity, ethnic slurs, gratuitous violence and pervasive drug content
Running time: 157 minutes
Studio: Universal Pictures

Evan Almighty DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Modern-Day Version of Noah’s Ark Arrives on DVD

Steve Carrell’s breakout role came in Bruce Almighty where he managed to upstage Jim Carrey as TV news anchorman Evan Baxter. So, it’s no surprise that the sequel might be called Evan Almighty. In fact, the movie doesn’t even bother to mention Bruce or to explain his conspicuous absence.
Soon after the opening credits roll, a tearful Evan bids farewell to Buffalo, and heads with his family to Washington, D.C. where he’s about to be sworn in to represent his beloved hometown in Congress. Upon their arrival, the family is welcomed by Eve (Molly Shannon), the syrupy-sweet realtor who sold them their just-completed McMansion, sight unseen, in an exclusive gated community called Prestige Crest.
Turns out the development is a hazardous natural disaster waiting to happen.which was only built because of a shady land deal bartered by a crooked Congressman Long (John Goodman). Fortunately, God intervenes in the person of a frequently shape-shifting Morgan Freeman.
This time, rather than surrender his powers (as he did with Bruce in the original), He uses them himself to implore Evan to build an ark. Initially, the freshman Congressman ignores this divine calling in favor of keeping his campaign promise to “change the world.”
Unfortunately, this special-effects-driven flick devolves at this juncture into a series of infantile animal jokes, especially of the “poop landing on head” and “swift kick to the crotch” variety. Like a modern-day Noah, Evan grows a beard, dons a robe, and sets aside worldly concerns to build a mammoth boat as commanded. And, of course, two of every species soon start showing up in anticipation of the great flood which, when it arrives, vindicates our devout protagonist in the eyes of his neighbors, his colleagues, the media, and a host of other Doubting Thomases.
A faith-based family comedy for folks who don’t mind having a familiar Biblical scripture overhauled into a contemporary allegory about saving the environment.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated PG for crude humor and scenes of peril.
Running time: 96 minutes
Studio: Universal Studios Home Video
DVD Extras: Deleted scenes, outtakes, an interactive animal roundup game, plus ten featurettes.

In the Valley of Elah

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Fallout of Iraq War Examined in Post-Traumatic Stress Drama

When SPC Mike Deerfield (Jonathan Tucker) goes AWOL soon after returning from a tour of duty in Iraq, his father, (Tommy Lee Jones), a retired, career military man, decides to join the search. Bidding adieu to his anguished wife (Susan Sarandon), Hank drives halfway cross the country from Tennessee to New Mexico in a panic, fearful because their only other child, a Marine, previously perished in a helicopter crash while serving in the 82nd Airborne.
Upon his arrival at the base, he’s disappointed to discover that the officer in charge of missing persons (Jason Patric) is an inept pencil-pusher with little street savvy. Looking for clues on his own, Hank finds himself frequently frustrated by the less than cooperative and deliberately misleading members of Mike’s unit.
Ultimately, his rescue mission turns into a recovery effort after a charred body is found chopped to pieces and scattered around an empty lot. Although the military brass assumes jurisdiction and quickly dub Mike’s murder drug-related in a rush to judgment, former MP Hank is savvy enough to smell a bureaucratic cover-up.
Next, he contacts the local police, but they are simply willing to leave the matter in the hands of the Army. Fortunately, he does find one sympathetic ear in the department, that of Emily Sanders (Charlize Theron), a detective generally assigned inconsequential cases by her condescending, sexist colleagues. As a single-mom with a young son, she’s able to identify with a grieving parent’s need to know exactly who killed his boy, and why.
So, the two team-up to fill in the pieces of the grisly puzzle, and that determined effort is meticulously chronicled in In the Valley of Elah, the first feature directed by Paul Haggis since his Oscar-winning outing in Crash. Unusually devoid of urgency for what’s been billed as a crime thriller, the film has actually been crafted more as an indictment of the American invasion of Iraq than as your typical whodunit.
For although our intrepid protagonists retrace Mike’s steps to strip clubs for a little gratuitous nudity and other staples associated with the genre, gradual revelations about Abu Ghraib-level abuses by the suspected soldiers lay blame overseas, since ensuing post-traumatic stress disorder seems to have triggered the attack. It’s hard to argue with the facts in the film, as they are based on a real-life incident involving a vet named Richard Davis who was similarly butchered and burned beyond recognition by buddies from his own unit briefly after their arrival back in the States.
Other than its annoying profusion of red herrings, this tortoise-paced picture is noteworthy only for squandering a talented cast of Academy Award-winners in service of delivering an antiwar message. Susan Sarandon has been reduced here to little more than hand-wringing and putting on a terminally-pained countenance, while Tommy Lee Jones reprises his trademark no nonsense, take charge persona, except he looks a little silly with nobody to order around. Finally, Charlize Theron’s pedestrian performance as a glum gumshoe is so unremarkable as to make you wonder whether you’re really watching the same actress responsible for Monster and so many other memorable screen performances.
Postwar is hell!

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated R for sexuality, nudity, profanity, violence and disturbing content.
Running time: 121 minutes
Studio: Warner Independent

Are We Done Yet? DVD

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: DVD Features Ice Cube and Company in Slap-Happy Sequel

Are We There Yet? (2005) was less a road comedy than a shameless, ninety-minute car commercial. Fortunately, the sequel doesn’t revolve around an automobile. In fact, nothing about this movie resembles the first, except for the presence of the same four principals in the cast.
Ice Cube is back as Nick Persons, and he’s now married to Nia Long’s character, Suzanne, who is pregnant and expecting twins. He’s also adopted her two kids, Lindsey (Aleisha Allen) and Kevin (Philip Bolden), the two misbehaving little monsters who’d previously made his life miserable.
This time, though, Suzanne and the children are given little to do besides dropping their jaws in wide-eyed reaction shots. For this flick features Nick’s frustrations with their new country home and his strained relationship with Chuck (John C. McGinley), the slippery realtor who talked him into buying the fixer-upper secretly in need of wholesale renovations.
The film is actually a remake of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948), a romp starring Cary Grant and Myrna Loy. And while Ice Cube’s acting has certainly improved with age, it is unfair to expect the affable rapper to measure up favorably to a renowned thespian like Grant.
That being said, this picture is stolen by Mr. McGinley, a perennial second banana who makes the most of an opportunity as a jack-of-all-trades who, soon after selling the property to the Persons, returns not only as a contractor, but as the city inspector, a Lamaze counselor, an herbalist, a baby whisperer and a midwife. Though it’s Chuck who most infuriates Nick, this flick is mostly about black folks having a hard time adjusting to nature. Nick is never allowed a peaceful moment, being disturbed by a raccoon, a deer, a sturgeon and a hawk.
Besides anthropomorphic animal fare, Are We Done Yet? is filled with stale and predictable sight gags, fart jokes, and slap-happy slapstick
Yeah, we’re done.

Fair (1.5 stars)
Rated PG for sexual innuendo and mild epithets.
Running time: 92 minutes
Studio: Sony Pictures Home EntertainmentDVD Extras: Blooper reel, kid’s quiz, “The Making of” plus another featurette.