Scary Movie (FILM REVIEW)
Scary Movie 5
Film Review
by Kam Williams
A Host of Celebrity Cameos Can’t Save Insulting Horror Spoof
What do Charlie Sheen, Lindsay
Lohan, Mike Tyson, Katt Williams and Snoop Dogg have in common? They’re all
celebrities whose names have been splashed across the tabloids in connection with
controversy. But in a macabre gesture ostensibly intended to exploit their
notoriety, this motley collection of the craziest people currently in the
public eye was tapped to make cameo appearances in Scary Movie 5.
The picture was directed by Malcolm
Lee (Undercover Brother) who opted for an overhaul of the series with a fresh
set of characters rather than a sequel. That shouldn’t be a problem for
purists, since each of the earlier installments has basically been a string of disconnected
skits spoofing the latest horror movies.
Among the fright flicks lampooned here
are Paranormal Activity, The Black Swan, Evil Dead, Sinister and Mama. However,
this equal opportunity offender also takes potshots at offerings from other
genres like The Help, Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection, Planet of the
Apes and 127 Hours.
Unfortunately, the disappointing production
is little more than a crummy appeal to the lowest common denominator employing
generous helpings of scatological humor. Worse, none of the sketches elicited
even a perfunctory pity laugh from the audience I watched the movie with.
The point of departure is a sex
scene in which Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are joined in bed by a colorful menagerie
of oddballs, animals and objects. The kinky copulating is sped-up in corny
fashion ala a typical Benny Hill episode, and the action’s even underscored by
the familiar strains of that frenetic melody routinely employed on the classic
British comedy show.
But Charlie fails to survive the
session, leaving his three orphaned children to be raised by his brother (Simon
Rex) and girlfriend (Ashley Tisdale), and their hairy-armed housekeeper (Lidia
Porto). The bodily function fare that ensues around the premises includes sight
gags involving farting, projectile vomiting, poop disguised as a banana, a
monkey tossing feces at a mirror, a woman putting a urine-soaked cell phone to
her face, a dog with a toothbrush stuck in its tush, a child playing with a
vibrator, a dog licking his own gonads, and a gay man with the hots for a fifth
grader.
This vapid, vulgar insult to the
intelligence couldn’t possibly have been tested on any focus groups. Can we all
now agree that we’ve reached the cinematic saturation point with this
rapidly-expiring franchise?
Poor (0 stars)
Rated PG-13 for profanity, sexuality, gore, drug use, nudity, ethnic
slurs, cartoon violence and crude humor
Running time: 85 minutes
Distributor: Dimension
Films
No comments:
Post a Comment