Monday, January 5, 2009

Gran Torino

Film Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Motor-Mouthed Geezer Befriends Troubled Teen in Motor City Melodrama

Recently-widowed Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) has a big set of gonads for a grizzled geezer who’s the last white guy still living in a Detroit ‘hood overrun with Asians, Latinos and blacks. After all, he’s in mourning and emotionally-estranged from his sons, Mitch (Brian Haley) and Steve (Brian Howe), who would like to relocate their dad to a retirement community.
Nonetheless, Walt wants to remain in the rapidly-changing, increasingly-lawless community. But rather than make the acquaintance of any of his neighbors, the gun-toting Korean War vet would rather roam around town like a geriatric Dirty Harry, daring troublemaking knuckleheads to make his day.
For he loves to talk trash, being especially fond of hurling expletives and ethnic slurs at members of every minority group.
He proves to be particularly imaginative when it comes to epithets for the Hmong family who moved in next-door, referring to them as everything from “gooks” to “zipperheads” to “rice niggers” to “chinks” to “nips” to “eggrolls” to “barbarians” to “fish heads” to “swamp rats” to “slope heads.” A friendly female (Ahney Her) invites him over in spite of all the insults, making a peace offering by saying, “I wish our father had been more like you.” Who knows why? Yet, the creepy bigot coarsely responds to the compliment with, “Get me another beer, dragon lady.”
Needless to say, Walt is utterly unlikable, at least until the fateful day that a budding juvenile delinquent (Bee Vang) tries to steal his Gran Torino muscle car as part of a gang initiation. Instead of shooting the thief with his trusty M-1 rifle when he catches him in the act, Walt decides to take pity on the kid after learning that the boy is in dire need of intervention.
Unfortunately, the transition Walt then makes from racist misanthrope into an altruistic father figure focused on his Asian-American protégé as a pet reclamation project is simply unconvincing. That’s not good news for this Motor City melodrama, since it specifically relies upon the chemistry supposedly generated as a friendship is forged between the pair.
Gran Torino is recommended only if you want to see Clint Eastwood uttering a profusion of offensive and profane language, like a senile old coot suffering from adult onset Tourette’s Syndrome. Otherwise, this cross of 8-Mile and Death Wish looks terribly dated, like the desperate last gasp of pre-Obama Era intolerance.

Fair (1 star)
Rated R for pervasive profanity, ethnic slurs and violence.
Running time: 116 minutes
Studio: Warner Brothers

To see a trailer for Gran Torino, visit:


Anonymous said...

Can't handle a little comedy can ya zipper head. Clint stacks vely humoless reviewers like you five feet high and uses them as sandbags. "Pre-Obama intolerance" lol. Man up fish head.

Anonymous said...

Is it just coincidence that every person who gave this generally well-regarded flick a bad review is either a gook, a spook, a fag or a hag?

Anonymous said...

Deserves 5 stars for bringing the word "spook" back into the collective conscious just in time the inauguration.

Killamore said...

Gran Turino is the best movie I have seen in years, you have no idea what you are talking about you fuckin fish head. The scene with Walt pwning the spooks on the street alone is worth the price of admission. Eastwood is still a badass, and this movie proves it, regardless of wether or not you have the balls to accept it, you big fat pussy.

THa RiddLA said...

OMG don't tell me you didn't like the flim just because you are a black man and Eastwood put the pwnage down on a few niggers in the film. Waaah you gonna cry to your mom about it too?

"Oh noes, Clint Eastwood made us niggas look bad momma"

Well, maybe if you mother fuckers acted halfway decent that stereotype wouldn't exist. You ever think about that, eh, Kam?

Fuckin spear chunker, go back to africa you douche. Your reviews suck, you can take your awards and stick it up your wait, you'd probably like that a bit too much, you fuckin faggot.