Monday, June 29, 2009

Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience

DVD Review by Kam Williams

Headline: Teen Sensations’ Concert Flick Finds Its Way to DVD

Walt Disney developed phenoms the Jonas Brothers seemed destined for the same phenomenal superstardom enjoyed by another one of the Mouse House Channel’s multi-level marketed pop idols: Hannah Montana. However, this 3-D concert flick flopped at the box office, showing that the siblings have a vulnerability not yet evidenced by the golden-touched Miley Cyrus.

Personally, I don’t blame their legions of young fans for failing to support this soulless enterprise during which they play to the camera as much to the adoring throngs in attendance. Honestly, the movie fails to measure up not only to the best of the genre like the Beatles’ Help, but even to similarly superficial vanity enterprises such as the Spice Girls’ Spice World.

Slick to the point of making me gag, Nick, Joe and Kevin’s transparent act is designed to melt the hearts of tweenyboppers in that first crush phase of life.

With vocal tones ranging from whiny to wounded quail, the Jonas’ stunningly-irrelevant, mega-decibel, heavy metal love ballads are so syrupy they’d make the average adult gag. Typical of their insipid lyrics are lines like: “I don’t want to hurt you, I want to kiss you.” Another ditty goes: “You’re the voice here inside my head, the reason why I’m singing. I need to find you.” Then there’s “She went away, leaving me stranding here, singing all these songs.”

In case you haven’t figured it out, the recurring “I am a relationship loser licking his wounds” theme is emotional red meat patently designed to keep all the pre-pubescent estrogen in the audience salivating. Even the chat between tunes is more of the same, lame lines like: “This song is for every person who’s ever felt alone.”

Fascinating only for the opportunity to observe the mesmerizing effect of a well-rehearsed, mass seduction on an auditorium filled with willing, adoring girls.

Fair (1 star)

Rated G

Running time: 89 minutes

Studio: Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment

3-Disc DVD Extras: Blu-ray, digital and an extended version of the film including songs not seen in theaters, a backstage featurette and more.

To purchase a copy of Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience, visit

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